‘Disconnected’, 2019

BlackCat Gallery, Collingwood

Feeling disconnected is like being in a beautiful field, surrounded by people that care about you, but with a big black hole in the middle of it only you can see. You try to ignore and walk around the hole, but at times you fall in. The hole is much deeper than it appears, and you get trapped. When people ask ‘what’s wrong?’, you can’t answer, they don’t get it because they can’t see the hole you are trapped in.

‘Disconnected’ began as a thought of how some people have no capacity to understand an experience they never had. Those of us who have experienced depression, have learned how to exist in two worlds simultaneously - the world of normalcy, and the world of darkness. A lot of people don’t understand how one might feel after a seizure, or someone with depression, or deep rage, or all combined. Those people themselves might not understand how they are supposed to feel. It’s an out of body experience that places you on the outskirts of your own life.

‘Disconnected’ aims to transfer those feelings, or lack of, onto a canvas, and relate to someone in the same state of mind. Art is not always beautiful, and sometimes it’s important to let that rage and disconnection with one self out.